Lane 1 on the expressway is called the overtaking lane, not the cruising lane. If you wanna roll your way home at 80kph like a loser, lane 2 is all yours.

I commute to work daily from Bt. Batok to Tampines. On good days, I get to Tampines in roughly 20 minutes. On fucked up days such as 7am yesterday morning, I could be sitting for an hour in the traffic. It’s only 7am and there’s traffic that slows to a crawl at Paya Lebar! Thanks to OPC owners!

I’ve been at work the entire night, and god save me, I met not one, but three selfish losers who refuse to give way. Coincidentally they were all driving big cars (e.g. Toyota Camry, Merc E class, BMW 7 series) and two of them were… you guessed it – ladies.

If they didn’t see me coming, I’d understand. But after flashing my headlights several times, they still refused to barge. It’s basic road courtesy and goes to show how selfish Singapore road users are. People may be in a rush to go home for dinner, to go to the airport, to go to hospital, to meet a friend, to rob a bank, to take a shit, whatever. In my case, I was rushing to catch some sleep after working the entire day.

The driving school teaches all kinds of bullshit, but it doesn’t teach people how to drive in the real world. Singapore’s barely 50km east to west, but there’s accidents on the road every single day. The traffic’s so bad nowadays I don’t even go to Orchard anymore.

If you thought road hogging was legal, think again. Road hogging is proscribed under Rule 5 of the Road Traffic Rules, which states that:

(a) every vehicle which is moving at a slow rate of speed shall be driven as close to the left-hand side of the roadway as possible, and

(b) every vehicle shall at all times be driven in such manner as not to obstruct vehicles moving at a faster speed.

Breach of that Rule is an offence under Section 131 of the Road Traffic Act, which attracts a maximum penalty of a $1,000 fine or 3 months’ imprisonment for the first offence, and a $2,000 fine or 6 months’ imprisonment for a second or subsequent offence. Where a person is convicted of the offence, four demerit points will also be awarded under the Driver Improvement Points System.

Here’s some basic things every driver should know. If you’re fresh out of driving school, you need to read this.

  1. Give way to cars that want to go faster than you, speed limit irregardless. That’s why “L” drivers need to keep left, get it?
  2. Give way to alternate cars during lane merges.
  3. Give way to cars ahead of you that are filtering into your lane. This also applies if two cars happen to be changing lanes at the same time – the one ahead of you gets priority.
  4. Change lanes swiftly, but not abruptly.
  5. Signal early, but also remember to turn it off once you’re in the lane.
  6. Signal correctly, you losers! I don’t believe how people can get this wrong. It simply follows the direction of your wheel, unless you drive with a joystick.
  7. Look at least two cars ahead, especially on an expressway.
  8. Keep a safe distance to prevent accidents, not to allow a plane to land in front of you.
  9. During a right turn, just wait. Don’t inch your vehicle out onto the oncoming lane.
  10. If you crash and there’s no injury, move your car so it doesn’t obstruct traffic.
  11. Brake only when necessary, not every 3 seconds.
  12. Make up your fucking mind. If you want to stop, just stop.
  13. Make up your fucking mind. If you want to go, just go.
  14. Make up your fucking mind. If you want to turn, just turn.

For bikes… if you like to go in between cars, by all means. But remember these.

  1. Cars have blind spots on both sides. The blind spot on the left is harder to see than the one on the right.
  2. When making a turn alongside a car, always stay on the outer circle of the turn.
  3. Give way to cars changing lanes in a jam, otherwise with the bikes riding in between lanes during a jam, cars will never be able to change lanes.
  4. Don’t attempt to squeeze between cars if there’s not much space.

Don’t be a loser. Be a considerate road user.